Ugh. I always seem to remind myself that I am a flake. Like this blog. I started out with good intention..write every day...ok every week....ok whenever. But seriously, I will try to write more consistently. Or you know what..I'll just THINK about writing more consistently. Its the thought that counts or whatever.
So, I guess there is one major thing on my mind--- The horrific flight back to Arkansas with Keygen
4 hour flights back to Arkansas with an anti-napper, I need more juice, read me my noisy book so everybody glares at you-two year old angel-are not for the faint of heart. Keygen is his mother's child. He is willful, sassy, and hell bent on everybody seeing things his way. Which you know, honestly, I am proud of. EXCEPT when it is directed towards me..in public...where spankings are illegal.
He was pretty good on the first leg of the flight. It was the connection in LasVegas that started our demise. Keygen really really I mean REALLY liked the slot machines. An old man laughed at us when he saw Keygen flopping around trying to get his hands on the slot machines. I really wished I laser eyes so I could use them on that old man. Not to hurt him, but you know, burn the phone out of his hand so he knew I meant business.
Luckily, the layover was only 58 minutes so I made it on the plane only slightly frazzled. Once on the plane Keygen lost his baby mind. He wouldn't sit down. He wouldn't put his seat belt on. The flight attendant looks at me and says "Ma'am he really has to be buckled." Oh well I'm sure that will totally change everything.....
Eventually Keygen fell asleep...for twenty minutes. Once he woke up he wanted apple juice. I didn't have apple juice. Thus began the 40 minute scream fest for apple juice. I am a scared flyer for sure. I always panic a little that the plane will crash. But in that 40 minutes I didn't care. I was thinking "Take her down...for the love of all the apple juice in the world..just TAKE.HER.DOWN."
The rest of the flight is a haze. I think I have blocked it out in order to hold on to my sanity. Getting off the plane was another adventure. Keygen decides to lay down. Yes, lay down right in the middle of the aisle. He wouldn't get up. He wouldn't come to me. I just wanted off the damn plane.
Then, the older gentleman setting next to us scoops him up and says "Come on Keygen, don't you wanna go home?" Of course, I freak out. I can just see us plastered on every news channel "Woman Thanks Kidnapper for Taking Her Child" Honestly though, I didn't like some stranger holding my kid. But, Keygen was thrilled. And he made it off the plane.
So there is the story of the plane ride to Arkansas. Each time I take a vow I will just fedex him next time. This time I think I am serious.
