My Take on 50 Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey is not for the faint of heart.

Some people refuse to read it. Others read it and want to burn the memory from their brains. Some use it as a manual to vamp up their sex life.

Whatever.

I have been trying to conjure up my own opinion of the book. Is it filth or fantastic?

From a writer's perspective E.L James is a freakin' genius.

Whether you loved the book or felt like you needed to shower after--it got the masses talking. As a writer, that is a great achievement. When you work on something that has the potential to only collect dust on a book rack, it is a pretty big deal when everybody has something to say about what you have written.

As far as the story line--eh. I mean sure it is heavily decorated in a sex fetish--but at the end of the day it's just a love story plus handcuffs and a riding crop.

Some Things to Consider:
If reading about sex makes you feel icky--not the book for you.
If you didn't like the first book--don't read the next two.
If you hated the series--don't watch the movie.
If you're embarrassed you read it and liked it--don't tell your mom.
If your mom read it and liked it--embrace her freak flag.

All in all--I thought it was alright. I admit--I have the cast in my head of who should play who in the upcoming film. Whatever. When the book gets banned I'll have rebel status.

Winona Ryder, condoms, and frosting.

I have been trying to write a blog for over an hour. Reed is at school, Keygen is napping, the T.V. is off--there are not distractions. Well, except my goldfish attention span that has been darting around unable to settle on a single thought. So..I thought it would be entertaining for you to read my thought process for writing a blog. My thoughts for the last hour:

Maybe I'll write a blog about sex.

Yeah..everybody has sex.

Okay, not everybody.

My grandma doesn't.

Ew. What if she does?

I'll ask her.

No, that's weird.

I'm going to ask her.

What if Reed gets embarrassed?

I won't talk about OUR sex life.

What if I did?

My mom reads this. 

So? I'm a grown up.

Ugh. I can't do it.

Next.

I'll write about the time I thought I was a dog whisperer.

I am crazy.

What if I really am crazy.

Would I be Joan Crawford crazy or Winona Ryder in Girl Interrupted crazy?

Winona. 

Didn't she shoplift?

Google.

Yup.

What's the world coming to?

Apocalypse.

I don't believe that.

Do I?

Nah.

It's bothering me I can't come up with anything..

I could write about my pet peeves.

Ugh. I have too many.

I hate the word "coupon."

I always clip coupons, but never use them.

It's like having a mini van. Sort of.

I'll never own a mini van. 

Unless I have 5 kids.

Planned parenthood is where it's at.

Maybe I could write about  condoms.

I had a kid in the middle of college--a planner? Yeah right.

A blog about---marshmallows or gummy bears.

I'll call it "Weird shit we don't know why we eat"

Really?

Jello is another one.

Stop.

I could write about my fear of being a starving writer.

I'm hungry.

I could make cupcakes. 

I hate to bake.

I could just eat the frosting.

Focus!

This.Is. Going.Nowhere. 

Frosting.

It just wasn't in me today. 

A Political Blog----Uh oh!

Ok--so I'm sorry for joining the masses about the nationwide political freak-out, but because of some recent events, I feel it is necessary to post about an issue that I have personally been through and seen others close to me go through.

As the election approaches, everybody is on edge. No matter what your political affiliation is, there is a weight in the air that makes people nervous about our country's future. No matter which side of the fence you are one, you certainly have an opinion about the politics whether it is liberal, conservative, moderate or simply sure that the government is one big crock.

Either way, we have all sort of gone on the defense about where we stand politically. I just want to take a moment to bring everybody down for a minute. Just a minute. Because once our political beliefs turn us into hate-spewing two-headed monsters, we need a reality check.

I am a flaming liberal. It's true. I believe in the welfare system. I believe in people paying their fair share in taxes. I am pro-choice. I believe in gay  human rights. I believe that there is absolutely no reason that one single person in our country should have to worry about receiving healthcare...ever. I also think that religion has no place in politics.

My belief system and perception of the world have been created just as yours have--by the experiences I have lived through. It takes all kinds of people to make this world go around and you can't be so far on one side of things that you can't see the other. While it may be easy for all of us to group people by political party and then belittle , name-call, and stereotype--we have to remember that we are not political parties. We are people. We all want the same things. We want our children to grow up happy and healthy. We want to provide a stable life for our family. We want to have a small piece of the American dream. We just have a different way of getting there.

I get it, politics can be overwhelmingly dividing--and it's not that easy to sit around holding hands and singing kumbaya (Uh, you really thought I was going to write this entire thing without being all...liberal) when someone on Facebook posts something that pisses you off so bad you want to argue with them for an hour in a public showdown of who did the best job fact-checking (And let's face it..none of us are Bill Clinton), this leads to an ugly side of human nature. A side that has to be right at the expense of friendships and sometimes even family.

But you know, the truth is, we need to just get over the fact that we can't change people to suit the world that we have created for ourselves. I'm not saying you can't be proud of your affiliation, but when people resort to name-calling and truly believing that they are the only person in the world with any common sense, this no longer is a political issue, but a human one.